sleep

I toss and turn in my sleep
as if searching my empty bed for something
someone to keep holding on to as the dreams
come and go and are forgotten

My gut is rotten through with coffee and smoke
I can't eat... but I do
I can drink but I try not to
I am so tired I can't sleep

Who calls but nature?
To lift me from bed in the morning
Old friends have left behind
an old friend not worth mourning

I try to sing but I know you're listening
And the ones that should hear
have only turned a deaf ear
Mother it's just too embarrassing

This is my soul
It is mine alone
And even I proclaim no ownership
Everything, absolutely everything
is on lease.

I want to smoke all day
drink all night
I want the cigarette to last forever
I want to sleep a million years